The Art of Telling Spill everything. Just don’t die.

Interview at the French Embassy was hell. Nakakabadtrip yung naassign sakin- Isang baklang Atenista. Sobrang pinalabas niya yung mga sungay ko. Pagpasok ko nakataas na agad kilay niya. Yung tono pa ng boses niya eh! Akala mo kung sino.

So I gave him my documents. He checked them and then looked at me with an angry face.

“Sit down! I’ll rearrange your documents.”

Geez… he didn’t have to shout!

After arranging the papers, he started asking questions about me, about traveling, etc. Basta, yun. And when I mentioned that I am studying the French language, he made sure by immediately asking “Vous parlez le français?”. Okay, naexite ka ba…. Then I replied with a simple “Oui, monsieur”. He didn’t look satisfied…So he said some french words that I have never heard of. After which he gave that hah-bet-you-cant-understand-me-now look and crossed his arms. Puta ang yabang! Eh wala, di ko naintindihan so I said ”Désolé. Je ne comprends pas.”

..silence…

You’re departing from Europe on the 21^st?

No. on the 4^th.

Then why is 21^st written here?

Im sorry. I didnt write that. The travel agency did. Let me change it.

Youre arriving also on the 21^st?

22^nd. Again, I didnt write that.

Eto super galit na siya. Like he transformed into Satan or something.

Who is traveling, you or the agency?!

Me.

You do know that there is a 10-day processing?

No. I didn’t know that.

Why did you apply for a visa only now?!

Because the agency scheduled me for today only.

Yeah. Its always the agency’s fault, right?!

I didn’t say that.

You are so irresponsible!!!!!

Im 17! Its my first time to apply for a visa. And because I don’t know anything about applying for a visa, I needed the help of the–

You are so irresponsible!!! You, you, you have no sense of responsibility!!!!

(Ukinam! Sorry ha! Sorry kung gumitna siya sa hell week at exam week!! Sorry kung inuna ko yung magaral kaysa ayusin magisa yung visa! Sorry kung hindi ko alam kung pano magapply! Sorry kung hindi ako magaling sa french! Sorry ang yabang mo, okay? Asshole!)

And that concerns you because?

I’m the interviewer here, not you.

Then do your job and just ask me questions. I don’t need to know your opinions about me.

… exchange of evil stares…. silence…

Ill accept your application but there is NO assurance that you’ll get it in time for your departure.

Oui. C’est pas mal.

Then I left without saying thank you.

Putcha talaga. Konting respeto naman oh! Just because you work in the French Embassy, it doesn’t mean that you can just do whatever you want to the “confused” applicants. And just because your a few years my senior, it doesn’t mean you can talk to me or treat me that way! Anong akala mo sakin?! Gago ka, maghanap ka na ibang trabaho! Ipapapatay kita kay Clement eh!!

IS STUDENTS WHO WANT TO WORK FOR THE DFA OR FOR ANY EMBASSY, TANGINA NIYO LANG KUNG MAY BALAK KAYONG MAGYABANG AT MAGFEELING NG GANITO SA TRABAHO.

After the interview, I rushed to the CR and cried. Ang loser pero oo, I cried. Natakot ako sa baklang yun eh! I dont know.. defense mechanism ko lang siguro yung magtaray. I swear, hindi ako sumasagot ng ganun. hmm.. i think its because of the “mean combacks survey”. haha! basta, bwiset yung sira ulong un. Taga ateneo pa man din. tsktsk! whatever happened to man for others…

Less than two weeks ago, I was in Malaysia and in three more weeks, Im off to Europe!!! whoohoo!!
I asked my mom if she would allow me to go to Europe alone. I was shocked when she immediately said yes… no questions asked ha. I thought she wasn’t serious so I just shrugged it off. After a couple of days, I decided to leave a brochure of a travel agency for students on her table. The next day, while I was in Subic, she called and said, “are you sure na kaya mo to go to europe alone?”. WAAAAH!
“You’re really going to allow me, mommy?”
Duh, Tasha. shit… I love my mom soooooooooooooo much! She’s the best.
Anyway, I’m planning to explore the most exciting parts of France, Italy, Germany, Netherland, Austria, and Switzerland for two weeks. Sayang, I can’t visit UK and Spain. London was supposed to be my last stop. Unfortunately, I have to be back by May 3 cause I have to be in Ilo-ilo to attend an important 2-night event. The day after that, Ill be celebrating with my family (its my mom’s bday on the 6th) and then i’ll attend Ina’s debut na sana sa beach pa rin. haha! Sometime after that, I’ll be taking a couple of friends out of town for i-dont-know-how-many-days. Then, back to school it is. Wow. Akala ko magbbum around lang ako this summer. Biglang hindi pala.
Right now, I just have to prepare all the requirements, submitt it, and show up in the embassy. Pray that I get a visa!!

Ako na nga nagsulat ng script. Ako na nga ang magtatapos ng lahat ng hindi mo nagawa. Sobrang konti pa ng ginawa mo ah. Ako pa magcoconvert. Ako pa mageedit. Aba! Ako pa pinagbayad mo! eh kung akin nalang kaya yung grade?!

Ikaw nalang magedit. Ay hindi ako marunong magedit.

Ikaw nalang magconvert. Wala akong kilalang magcoconvert.

Ikaw nalang magshoot. Ay busy ako eh… Schoolwork.

Ay anak ng baka ka naman oh. MAGHANAP KA, wala din naman akong kilala.  at putcha may pabusybusy pa. eh ako?! nagaaral din naman ako ah! pareho pa tayo ng inaaral.

TANGINA kahit pag seatworks ako lang nagiisip! Akala ko pa naman responsable kang tao. haay nakakainis.

JJ called and I spilled!! he asked me what i was doing and i didnt think before answering!!! I told him i was writing on my blog. tapos he was like “Ah yeah? you have a blog pala. Whats your blog address?”

Argh!! Stupid! Now, I cant write anything stupid on my multiply blog anymore. Buti nalang I have another blog!! Thank you, Lord!

“Ahh.. la danger… does that mean i should be careful with you? haha!:-)”

Okay, Jayjay that was corny.

Day 1

Tito Robert picked us up at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport at exactly 7:12pm and took us to dinner at The Spring Garden, one of the best restaurants in Malaysia. Just as I sat down, the food started coming. “Wow. That’s fast food!!”, i said in my mind. Tito Robert pala had already paid for it and had it cooked even before we arrived in Malaysia. He is the coolest Tito ever! He asked me if I wanted to watch the F1 race because if I did, he could get me free tickets!! He even gave us 35% discount on a lot of storesand he also gave me an ipod touch as a “welcome gift”. Anyway, the people who served our food—– WOW! hot waiters and hot chefs! haha! Steph and Ina, you’ll love it here. After dinner, we headed straight to the hotel which was, by the way, at the back of the tallest twin towers in the world- the Petronas towers.

Day 2
The first place we went to was the theme park at Time square. It was called Cosmo’s world. It has the sickest roller coaster I have ever seen… aside from the hulk at universal studios and the roller coaster at Ocean Park (Hong Kong). We finished at around 2 in the afternoon and went back to the hotel to have lunch with my mom. My parents asked me to pick between shopping and the F1 race. If you know me well, you’d think that I immediately picked shopping… but I didn’t. I had to ask the coolest Tito ever for advice.
“hmm… its very hard to pick between the two!”, he said. “but if I were you, I’d pick shopping. You can watch the F1 on TV anyway, which would be better. ‘Cause if you watch live, you wouldn’t see much. The cars would be like.. zoom! zoom!” So took Tito Robert’s advice and recieved 1000 Ringgits from my mom and another 1000 from my dad! As soon as I got my shopping money, I went mall hopping. haha! I first went to the Kuala Lumpur City Center, then to Sungei Wang, and then to the Pavillion. Sungei Wang was very much like Greenhills. They sold cheap stuff, it was a noisy place, and there were a lot of people too. The only difference is that Sungei Wang had more space.
Tito Robert took us to dinner again at the KLCC food court. The food there was amazing!!! I ordered all sorts of Asian food and the weirdest thing happened. The body guard that has been following me and my siblings around all day paid for my food… with his own money! I was like “WHAAT?!” haha! Anyway, i enjoyed the food and Tito robert’s and tita Angie’s company.

Day 3
Mommy and Tita Angie took me shopping at KLCC, while my siblings went to Cosmo world and to the Petronas Discovery center with my Dad and Tito Robert. After everything, my dad called my mom up and we all agreed to meet at the KLCC and have late lunch together at the Aseana Cafe. When we got there, the Cafe was full. Just as we were about to leave, the owner of KLCC showed up. It was a good thing, Tita Angie was good friends with her. The owner gave up the table that she reserved for her friends and gave it to us instead. Yayness!!
Let’s fastforwad to dinnertime!
Yay! People my age arrived! Migs and Tita Beth had dinner with us. I also met Tito Danny’s son Dion. He’s this super rich Malaysian kid without a Multiply account. haha! and he studies in London. Lucky boy! Anyway, Dion agreed to give us a tour around Malaysia the next day. He told us he would pick us up at 4:00.

Day 4
So the next day came!! at 9 in the morning, we visited the bridge that connects the two towers of the Petronas. It was pretty high! The only thing i could recognize below was the super big fountain that Dion, Migs and I were at last night and the public bank building that I took a picture of a few days ago. After having Brunch at the mall next to the Petronas, my family decided to go home and rest.
I took a nap and when I woke up, I was like “Shit!!! Its 4:10!!!” I texted migs right away. good thing they were still at church. *Sigh* I took a shower, dressed up in comfortable clothes and waited. Around 5:30 Dion called.
“Hey! Im downstairs waiting”
So I went down and waited a little more. When Migs arrived, we immediately left and went to the biggest mall in Malaysia. While we where there, Migs and I looked out for cool stores while Dion got so busy staring at the half-naked girls on the TVs hanging on the mall’s columns.
We left the mall at 8pm. Surprisingly, Dion bought the most clothes! I forgot how rich he was. Anyway, we went to his house to have dinner with his family. We finally got there and all i said was shit when I saw his house. Its soooooooo big! Its like a hotel! Theres a super cool swimming pool, an elevator INSIDE HIS HOUSE, a karaoke room, a pool room, a movie room, a game room, and all sorts of rooms! Every bathroom in his house has a bathtub! What the hell. I felt so poor. I guess char was right. haha!
Moving on, their food was great! It was like eating at a Japanese fine dining restaurant. After having dinner, we went upstairs to the game room and played with Dion’s wii. He asked us what game we wanted to play.
“uhh… there’s Tennis, NBA Live……”
then I heard the funniest thing
“there’s MY OWN POTTY too… and–”
Migs and I bursted out in laughter. Dion, on the other hand, was confused. “Whats so funny?”
“We heard the wrong thing”, Migs said.
“Why what does My Potty mean in the Philippines?”, Dion asked.
And then we laughed harder.
He gave as a few minutes to settle and then he asked again. So Migs answered first.
“I thought you said my panty”
And then I said, ” I thought you said my own potty! In my mind I was like what kind of a game is My Potty?! A pooing game?!”
Then he laughed and showed us the cover of the game. HE MEANT MARIO PARTY!! hahaha! He probably just mixed up the malaysian and british accents.
“okay! Lets just play Dance Revolution”, I said.
“Yeah” Then Migs read the cover. “Dance Dance Revolution: The Hottest POTTY!”
We played Dance revo the whole time. Migs won the most battles, Weiss and Dion lost the most battles, and I was somewhere in the middle. Haha!

Day 5
I was to lazy to get up. I was up until 2 am playing Dance revo with Migs, weiss and dion. ugh. but i had no choice. our flight back to Manila is at 10am. We have to be at the airport at 8. grr. Part of me didnt want to go home. One, I was having so much fun in Malaysia, Two, going home means having to work at Ocean Park and going to Ocean Park meant seeing Jayjay, and three, I wanted to watch the final F1 race. huhu. Unfortunately, i cant stay behind and I don’t want to. Id rather go home with my family.
So there. I was back in Manila. We went to church and drove to Manila Ocean Park. It was only then that I realized I was wearing a beetles shirt. Shit. I’m giving Jayjay more reasons to talk to me. So, I immediately took out a jacket from my luggage and wore it. I decided that no matter how hot it is in the Philippines, I will not take the Jacket off! at least until Jayjay leaves MOP.
We went out of our car and inside the MOP Cafe. Then my mom just kissed me and said, “anak, go home and rest nalang.” YES!!! omg! I am so lucky! thank you lucky hair!

I got home, watched 2 movies, and now I’m writing everything on my blog. You know, this story was supposed to end 2 sentences ago and the tittle of this entry was supposed to be “Natasha’s Vacation and Her Escape From Jayjay”. Unfortunately, Jayjay called about 3 seconds after I finished writing this entry. I didn’t answer but Shet! I bet he’s looking for me at Ocean Park.

My sister made me feel guilty for being so mean to Jayjay. So shit talaga. I texted him nalang and said

“Hey. Sorry I wasn’t able to answer. I was feeing my dog. Whats up?”

“No worries. Wanted to ask lang if your here at ocean park, just wanted to drop by and say hi to you :-)”

There he goes again with the smileys.

“Ah. Im not at home eh. I had a tiring week so I decided to stay home. Good luck nalang in your gig thingy there.”

“I was expecting to see you pa naman tonight! How’s it going over there though? :-)”

Okay. Fine. Maybe my sister is right. He does seem like a nice and thoughtful boy. Haay… I promise, I wont be mean to him anymore. Maybe I will still make laet but it stops there. No more hiding from him, and saying slightly mean things to him. Promise.

In a brief conversation, a man, speaking to a woman, was out to pursue the question, “What kind of man are you looking for?”

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asked, “Do you really want to know?”
Reluctantly, he said, ”Yes” as she began to expound…

“As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself.

I pay my own bills.

I take care of my household without the help of any man- or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’”

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, “I am not referring to money… I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.”

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said,

“I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Mentally. I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked… Believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfection Financially because I don’t need a financial… burden.

I am looking for someone who is Sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but Strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can Respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive… He just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. At this point, I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”

When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face, and exclaimed,  ”You’re asking for a whole lot!”

To which she gracefully replied…

“Only if you think I’m not WORTH a lot.”

I was forced to hire a guy I found weird. WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY WITH CELEBRITIES?! First, Denver. Then Brad. And then Poy. (Not their real names). Now this? hay nako. Itago nalang natin siya sa pangalang Jayjay.

I told my mom everything- why I found him weird and why I didn’t want to hire him as a performer on our show. She listened and laughed every now and then. After telling her everything, she said that she was going to tell on me. I, however, shrugged it off thinking she wasn’t serious.

I was so concentrated on my work that I got so exhausted. So, I looked at my watch to check how many hours more before I can rest. It was 5:30- two more hours! I looked up and guess who I saw. UGH!!!My mom was standing there WITH JAYJAY! and i was like WTF?! My mom just started giggling and said, “I told him that you told me not to tell him that you’re here.” To which Jayjay immediately replied, “Don’t worry, you don’t look bad tonight.”. I immediately raised my eyebrows and gave him that uhh-okay-now-go -away look but I’m guessing he probably didn’t get it. I mean, WHAT THE HELL! Akala ba niya kaya ako nagtatago kasi feeling ko ang panget to to even face him?! Hoy, bago siya magyabang, tignan niya muna sarili niya! Tapyasin ko yang ilong niyang pango eh. What a dope. He shook my hand twice pa! Tapos before leaving, he gave me a wink and said “catch you later!” OKAAAAY. that was awful.

Unfortunately, I didn’t end there. I extended work hours so that I wouldn’t be caught watching him. Right after their performance, I sat down and waited for the next band. BAD IDEA. He sat down beside me and started a conversation. Great.

“We’ve met before, right?”

At the back of my mind, i was like “DUH, stupid!” but instead, i replied,

“Yeah. At mcdo. remember? Jill was the one who introduced you to us.”

“Who’s Jill?!”

“What?! You don’t remember Jill?”

he shook his head.

“Jill. The short girl with the bangs and stuff.”

“Do you have a picture of her? of.. uhh.. jill? I really don’t remember”

“No. Basta she’s the one who’s running for batch rep.”

Again, he shook his head in confusion. “Okay,” i said to myself, “either this guy has Alzheimer’s or he’s just plain stupid”

“Basta. the Santugon girl.”

“Aah! i remember now! the santugon girl.”

uhhm… i just said that but okay… “yeah.”

so we had the q&a portion of the conversation. He asked the questions and I replied with dead-end answers.

“So maybe we should hang out sometime.” Jayjay said.

i just nodded and watched the band.

“I’ll treat you.”

a few moments of silence fell upon us. hmmm… its tempting.

“and your friends”

“haha! really now”

“yeah. I’ll get your number” then, he took his phone out of his pocket. I saw him place his fingers on the keypads, as if he was ready to receive my number. ready-get-set-go na ba toh! yet, I didn’t say anything.

“uhm.. whats your number?”

“oh. sorry. do you have a pen?”

he smiled and said, “I have a phone.”

I was thinking of giving the wrong phone number. too bad i cant. He might hunt me down. Its pretty easy to hide from him in school but in ocean park? nah. Who knows baka gumawa naman ng kalokohan mom ko. I could tell him i lost my phone but what if he calls after receiving the number to check if its right? ugh. i needed time to think!

“wait. I forgot my number.” I lied. Its a good thing his fellow band mates came.

Yes! i have the chance to get out of here!!

“Tasha! this is Rocky and that’s Louie.”

“Hey!”

or i could just stay.

“So, whats your number?”

ugh.

I was so happy when my mom told me to go home! the conversation was finally over!! whoohoo!

but but but!!!

15 minutes had passed since I left ocean park. 15 minutes had passed after I ended the conversation with jayjay. and 15 minutes…. 15 minutes was how long my happiness lasted.

I checked by phone and saw the words “hey tasha! you forgot to save my number -jayjay”

…. eto nanaman tayo.

“no i didn’t. I’ll save it na.”

“good. we just left ocean park. havent gone inside and checked the 6ft long sharks though. but Im sure it’d be a fun experience :-)”

whats with the effing smileys?!

“YOU should go! its pretty cool inside” notice that I emphasized the YOU.

“yeah i should. it’d be nice if you could be my tour guide though. what do you think? :-)”

I didn’t want to say no because it was rude. I didn’t want to say yes either, because obviously, I didn’t want to! Instead, I said,

“I dont know anything about sea creatures”

“You could be my pseudo tour guide then. Just tell me silly things :-)”

“okay fine”

“very nice. ok. so you home yet? whats up”

“Im tired”

“Aww.. im sure you are. exhausted even. you been working and helping out all night. hope you got t freshen up na though so you can sleep more comfortable.”

Dont you feel that there’s something wrong with the way he constructed his last sentence.

“yeah. im not really exhausted from work my mom asked me to do. I think its because I had to deal with a lot of other stuff, you know, like some people.”

(dear reader, you know what im talking about, right? Unfortunately, jayjay didnt. turtle eh.)

“That sound horrible (OMG! YEAH IT IS!) I hope you get to sleep well though”

“I hope so too. gotta go to bed. bye!”

At least I was kind enough to say bye. haha!

Im not being mean. If you were in my position, I think you’d do the same. well, I think you would if you at least think the way I do. haha!

I don’t like feeling close people, feeling-crush-ko people, and feeling-cool people.

I grew up in Miriam- with people who think that cool people are jologs and jologs people are cool. Dont get it? Kung feeling cool ka jologs ka! kung kaya mong magpakajologs at carry mo naman, cool ka!

Take mommy kim’s advice: Don’t be afraid to be jologs.

uggggghhhhhh!!

It was 9:30 in the morning when I decided to get out of bed. I was going to use the CR to groom up but it was locked. I went to the next room and it was also locked. My parents’ CR, well, it was locked too. Everyone was taking a bath and no one woke me up to tell me that we were going out!

My sister finally came out of the bathroom. She looked at me from head to toe and said, “Why aren’t you dressed up?”

“Oh I don’t know. Maybe because no one told me I had to. It could also be because you were using the bathroom!”, I replied.

“Mommy tried to wake you up earlier! Hurry. We’re going to visit BK and Rezy.

BK and Rezy were our pure Royal Bengal Tigers. We bought them from Zoobic Safari when they were only a few months old. Now, we donated them to the Manila Zoo because they could no longer fit in their cages.

We left the house, ate breakfast at Mall of Asia, and headed straight to the new Ocean Park behind Quirino Grandstand.

“I thought we were going to Manila Zoo?”, My brother asked my father.

“Yeah. Later.”

We got out of our car to check out the almost finished building. Because my dad built it, we were allowed to go inside for free! While my dad and the creator, Mr. Lim, talked about business stuff, My mom, my siblings, and I, went around the park. There were underwater glass tunnels where you could see fish swimming above and beside you. It is much like the one at Ocean Park Hong kong except it had no walkalator. What about below you? There’s that too! You could ride glass-bottom boats around a humongous aquarium. I was even allowed to touch a big starfish and grab a bamboo shark! Cool, right? I cant wait ’till its complete! Mr. Lim told us that he is expecting it to open next next week and that we could get in for free! Sweet!

Next stop, Manila Zoo!

We got into the Zoo for free as well. That’s not the best part though. We were let into the quarantine and the off-limits area which was by the way, one of the sickest experience ever! I fed the wild animals and touched some of them. I also found a brown Siberian husky lurking around the quarantine area. Haha! Weird right? Moving on, I also got close to the tigers we donated. I don’t know if they still recognize us but I didn’t dare go inside the cage to find out. The last time I did that, I almost died.

We went around the zoo some more to get ideas on what animals to get for our “farm”. Right before we hopped into our car, we were asked to visit again and guess what! for free too! haha! All we had to do, was call, pass through the back gate, and say our last name. Actually, my step-dad’s last name. Yay!

Wanna know where else I could get in for free? Hong Kong Disneyland, baby! Marvin, my choreographer who now works at Disneyland, just reminded me that he could get me in there for free.

Wow. What a day!